Mothers Day should be a day for both celebration and commiseration.
When Jodi and I first began to tentatively share the story of Annie, it was amazing how quickly others shared similar stories with us: lost children, miscarriages, infertility. It was immensely comforting to feel these collective bonds of course. To know that you are not alone in your grief is a balm. But Jodi and I kept coming back to how surprising it was that we were hearing some of these stories for the first time: we were close to many of these people. We were surprised (and sometimes shocked) by the long silences that had preceded these moments of commiseration. We didn't know what to make of it.
We still don't. There are many good reasons why we don't always want to share our hurts. That we all at times suffer in silence is a heartbreaking fact of life. And so there are many good reasons to be kind and gentle to one another: we each harbor such heartaches. Happy Mothers Day to all of you who have lost children. Whether shared or silent, know that your heartache is felt by others.